Think of your subconscious mind as a house, made up of your beliefs, personality traits, habits, and who you imagine yourself to “be”.
When we’re younger, the materials we’re given to build ourselves are provided by our parents, teachers and other people in our environment. So depending on our upbringing, and what beliefs were projected onto us, this will drastically change the construction and functionality of each house. As children, our subconscious minds are incredibly permeable, so we simply accept what we’re told, whether good or bad.
It’s said that by the time we get to age 7, which is when our analytical mind starts developing, those are the materials that most keep for the rest of their lives. This can cause us to believe we aren’t good enough, to lack confidence, or struggle in relationships (with ourselves and others). And since these beliefs can be so deep in our subconscious, we’re usually not even aware of where these materials came from and simply accept our lives for what they are without question.
But that is what the whole spiritual / emotional process is all about: taking inner inventory of your materials, questioning your beliefs about yourself, discovering where they came from, and then deciding whether or not they’re something you want to keep or discard for something better.
For some, it may only require minor tweaks and adjustments in order to make your house feel more like a home, meaning to be fully comfortable in who you are. Just small renovations here and there because the framework is solid enough.
For others, it may involve having to demolish the whole damn house and start again. This idea is similar to what they call the “dark night of the soul” where an event or situation in life causes your whole world to collapse. Though this is a painful experience, sometimes it’s necessary in order to force you to start rebuilding something better, something truly your own.
But there is a reason why many choose not to work on their houses, to avoid delving into their subconscious to process old emotions and beliefs. It takes constant work and requires a level of honesty and fearlessness that some just aren’t ready for. Building the house you want to live in is a lifetime commitment. First you have to draw the plans, dig the hole, build the foundation, frame the walls, put up the drywall, etc etc. There are so many steps you need to take before you can call it a house. And even more steps to call it a home.
But that’s the process. And what could be more valuable to invest your time and energy into than your own well-being?
As the saying goes, “little by little, a little becomes a lot.” So even though you may not be living the life you want right now (or be the person you want to be), you just need to start assembling new materials and envisioning the house you want to build. Then, little by little, your new home will start to take form. 🏡