I’ve never been one for new year’s resolutions, usually trying to act when I feel compelled to, rather than waiting for a specific day. I think even just the seasonal winter rhythms, with everything in nature still sleeping, isn’t conducive to huge overhauls, but starting to prepare little seeds, sensing it’s almost time for planting.

I’ve been going out for a walk around my neighbourhood every morning for the last week or so. I’ve sporadically tried to do this over the years, but keep falling out of a routine, though this time I’m starting to notice more of how it makes me feel, and how great of a way it is to start the day, getting the body gently moving and natural light in my eyes.

As I was walking this morning (Jan 1st), I had someone run past me, which I imagine was a new years resolution, though I don’t want to project too much since I have no idea. But what popped into my head was “walk before you run.” I often tend to get stagnant and then have to make big shifts to compensate, which I’ve found isn’t sustainable. I’ve taken up running, gone to the gym, took on ambitious creative projects, etc but found that they weren’t lasting. I’d burn out, or lose interest once that initial spark was gone. I wanted to get to an end-goal, without putting in the steps (literally) to help me keep going. I think this is the case with a lot of people, chasing a dream but maybe not setting themselves up for lasting success, which is what we often see in the new year. We think we ‘failed’, but really, it might have just been too much too quickly (again, especially since we’re still in winter, and the sun isn’t strong enough to fuel our ambitions). I’m noticing in myself that this has been the case with a lot of things I’ve done, and my impatience of things not materializing fast enough, and then wanting to jump to the next thing without focusing on building a proper foundation (routine + habits) first. This is part of my idea for writing this blog: slow, steady, and (mildly) consistent, as well as my purpose for walking everyday. Just keep moving, no matter how slowly.

I think a foundation can also look like many things: a physical home, a belief system, a job, steady eating habits and sleep routines, or anything else that can be seen as stabilizing. Something we can rely on. But it’s certainly dawning on me just how important a morning routine can be. I’ve been pretty good at doing some things (sleep, shower, meditation, breakfast), but lacking in others (movement, spiritual practices, disciplined writing, getting outside). Getting sunlight and exercise outside seems to be having a much more profound affect this time around. It feels good to get some energy moving after 8 hours in bed, and there’s something calming about being out before the hustle and bustle of the world starts. Unfortunately in winter, the sunrise doesn’t happen until 8am or so, so lots of time to still be lazy or think my way out of it (especially if it’s cloudy), so it takes more willpower. But it’s funny how once I get going, I’m always glad I did. I ended up going for a walk in the forest later in the day as well, while it was raining, and initially there was that voice again saying, ‘it’s cold, you’re going to get soaked, let’s just turn back’, and yet 20mins in, I started warming up and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I suppose it’s important to be mindful of this voice and realize that it isn’t always the one you want to listen to, as it can keep us safely contained and comfortable, not growing or engaging.

There’s a phrase that came to my mind years ago that I used to tell customers who came into my work asking for health advice, and it was: “even small steps will eventually get you there,” rather than trying to overhaul everything at once. I think I’m finally starting to understand what I was saying. I’m finding that going slower can help to build the foundation, the confidence, the understanding of why I’m doing something, so when I do move, it feels more cohesive and sustainable. Slowing down for a period, so that I can build momentum to move faster later. Urgency culture doesn’t often allow this, which is a real shame. I’ve had to resist this tremendously, counter the need to rush to get somewhere, whether a goal, a state of being, a place, whatever, in order to realize that there’s nowhere I –have– to be other than –here-, where I am. And it’s from this place that I can more consciously act.

The journey of climbing a mountain takes time, as they say.

One foot in front of the other.

Thanks for reading,
Gordon.